Friend Or Foe?
by theboxthatalwaysrox
Summary: Draco saves Harry from a fate worse than anything you can imagine, and a bond is formed between him and Harry. HarryDraco. Chap11
1. The Problem

_Dear Harry,  
Come down to my house at 9 o clock tonight. I need to talk to you. Hagrid.  
_  
I'd received this note from Hagrid, so at 9 that evening I set off down to Hagrid's hut. Hagrid wa my best and only real friend since Ron and Hermione had eloped six months ago. Hagrid greeted me with a big hug as usual and huskily said

"Harry, won't ye come in?"

"Of course!" I eagerly replied, I never miss a chance to see Hagrid. He's always been so kind to me. I followed Hagrid through to his kitchen. He stood, facing me, hands on his hips, with a pained look on his haggard face.

"What did you want to talk about, Hagrid?" I asked. He didn't reply immediately, but staring deep into my eyes, he approached me, breathing heavily.

"You know Harry, I'm a lonely person. I've always felt unwanted; the odd- one-out; but since I met you... I've felt different."  
"What do you mean by different, Hagrid?" I asked.  
"Sexually different..." his husky voice replied. I stare, shocked.  
"I think I should go, Hagrid!" I exclaim, my voice unusually high. I get up and make for the door, but he moves too quickly and his bulk blocks the doorway.  
"W-w-what are you doing?" I ask, scared. He is too close for comfort.  
"I want you Harry!" he growls. His hand shoots out and grabs my member. I gasp and try to run, but he is too strong. His other hand clamps on my shoulder to stop me moving, while he begins to stroke me skillfully. "Hagrid, don't, please Hagrid, please! Please stop!" I whimper, but he won't listen. He backs me into a table and unzips the fly of my trousers. I can't believe this is happening to me. I stare into those beetle eyes, and instead of being kindly as I once thought, I now see tunnels of darkness. This is worse than anything I've ever experienced. Hagrid has been like a father to me. No, not any more, no real father could ever do this.  
All the while Hagrid has been moaning, hungrily. He binds my wrist to a pillar and pulls my trousers down, gasping happily as he exposes my member.  
  
I feel his hand, groping, tugging and then he takes my hand and makes me touch him. It's really hairy, and sweaty. It throbs uncomfortably against my palm, and Hagrid moans, his eyes half closed as holds my hand there. I try to get away but he backs me against the pillar.  
Suddenly Hagrid kneels down, his hands around my waist. I can tell what's going to happen...  
"Stop that Hagrid!" I yell, but he ignores me. His mouth closes around my member, hot and wet. I scream for help but Hagrid ignores me and his tongue begins to wind around me. He starts to groan against me, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth, down my leg. He breaks away, licking lips.  
"I've been waiting for so long, just to taste you!" My eyes widen in horror.  
Hagrid looks up at me, his eyes glinting evilly. He breathes heavily and slowly, as if considering something. "Yes" he groans "it's time. Oh god Harry, this is better than I imagined. You're so fresh, so young, so new."  
I glare at him.  
"Yes," I spit, "and you're so disgusting, so hairy, so sweaty!"  
He growls at me, suddenly angry. I gulp, I should have known better than to anger him. He turns me over and out of the corner of my eye I see him taking a tube from a drawer. Behind me I hear a squelching noise as he squeezes something out of the tube, then he starts massaging it around my exposed arsehole. This is more disturbing than anything I can imagine, worse even, than I thought it would be. I'm traumatised as I feel him trying to slide his giant member into me. It's horrible, it hurts so much.  
But Hagrid is obviously enjoying it. He's grunting, groaning and heaving away. It really, really hurts. I never knew a giant could have such a... giant down his trousers. But it's true.  
Hagrid is screaming that he's coming. The door slams open, and Hagrid pulls out, surprised. I scream in pain.  
I turn around to see Malfoy enter, enraged. I've never been so happy to see his ferret face. Hagrid is still dripping behind me.


	2. The Rescue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, I think you will probably realise this as I do not happen to be JK Rowling. (I was born near Chipping Sodbury though)

I apologise for making Hagrid so horrible! He's lovely really, but I thought that would be utterly traumatising, Hagrid and Harry are so close! And I thought this would make a situation in which it was easier for Harry to trust Malfoy, they are mortal enemies after all, he's not going to trust him just because the boy is shockingly sexy. Rawr.

I wonder if the mechanics of Harry and Hagrid are even possible. "maybe for an unladen african swallow..."

**Chapter two, in which Harry befriends his gallant rescuer.**

"Oh God Hagrid, why are you doing this again?"  
Hagrid turns, exposed. Never in all my life had I been so happy to see Malfoy. I get up from the floor while Hagrid stares, angry at the interruption, the only sound was the dripping of his sweat on the floor.  
Malfoy looked shocked, and rightfully too. Hagrid had been raping me. A giant, raping a young boy, both orally and anally. He was disturbed by the image because he had one been Hagrid's rape victim, too. He'd been to the Rape Crisis Society, but the pain of the memory still ran deep. The memory of Hagrid's hairy, bulky frame pushing him up against the wall; the exposure of Hagrid's sweaty member; and the pain and humiliation of a peadophilic sexual abuse were awful to him.  
He unties me from the pillar and I fall into his arms.  
"Oh thank you Malfoy!"  
He looks disgusted.  
"Get off me Potter!" he spits.  
I was mortified and hurt, I hadn't meant to be overly familiar, this was Malfoy for goodness sake! I had just needed to show gratitude to my rescuer. I backed off and ran to the safe haven of the Gryffindor tower. The Fat Lady looked at me and smirked at my dishevelled hair and damp, sweaty body.  
"Been up to something naughty, have we Harry?"  
I stammered the password (hippogriff, it brings up thoughts of Hagrid) and I run to the dormitory and collapse on my bed, crying. I draw the hangings shut around me.  
It was getting late, and was near the end of breakfast next morning when Neville came up to the dorm to find me.  
"Harry... Harry, breakfast's nearly over. If you're not coming down I could bring you some up"  
I sniffed "No thank-you Neville, I'm not hungry" he opened the curtains, but I had my back to him so he couldn't see my face. He had the sense to leave me alone now. He went off downstairs to eat, saying that if I wanted anything they were all in the common room.  
The door snapped shut behind him, fresh tears welled up in my eyes. I had no one to talk to... nobody to listen.  
Except Hagrid. Before he... raped me, Hagrid had been one of my best friends. If someone other than Hagrid had done that, he would have been the one that comforted me. But Hagrid was no longer a friend of mine. Because of him I felt pain; both emotional and physical pain. My tears wet my pillow, but I couldn't go on crying. I had to confront him. To name him and shame him as a homosexual rapist. I wanted his awful secret to be heard throughout Hogwarts.  
So I walked to Hagrid's hut, determined to give him a talking to concerning his having stolen my innocence.  
As I approached his hut I shuddered, this place had nothing but bad memories now. I peered through the window, the light was off – was Hagrid even there? I put my face close to the windowpane and narrowed my eyes. Was he there? Was he there...? "Harry!" a loud voice boomed behind me. Hagrid was behind me, and he lustily grabbed my waist and pushed me against the wall of his hut. I felt the wind knocked out of me as I gasped for breath.  
Suddenly I felt a surge of anger, replacing my upset and pain.  
"Hagrid, noooo!" I yelled.  
Taken aback by my sudden outburst he took a step back, I took my chance and pushed past him. Red-hot hatred surged through me, making me feel braver than I really was. I took a step towards him.  
"Don't you ever touch me again." I said, my voice shaking uncontrollably, my fists were unconsciously clenched. I saw a flicker of panic torch up in Hagrid's cold beetle eyes. Feeling yet stronger, I spat out,  
"I'll get you for this Hagrid. You'll pay for what you've done to me."  
With that I turned and ran, and didn't stop. Flinging a final glare of hatred behind me I entered the welcoming safety of the castle.  
I ran into Malfoy in the entrance hall, he took one look at me and said  
"He's tried it again, hasn't he?"  
I nod, but explain that I got away.  
Malfoy can sense my distress and I once more collapse into his arms, sobbing. He doesn't push me away this time, but awkwardly pats my back. Suddenly I break away quickly, he looks confused and a little hurt. I take no notice of this and run up to the tower, again collapsing on my bed in tears. This time I was crying because... I'd felt so comfortable hugging Malfoy, and I was even more disturbed by this thought than Hagrid's attempts at rape. What is wrong with me? Draco is my enemy! Hold on, I called him Draco, I've never called him Draco. I buried my head in my pillow, utterly confused.  
Drifting off to sleep, all sorts of fantasies filled my head. I imagined Draco and I as friends – or more than that? I snap out of sleep, sitting up disgusted at myself. There was a knock at the door, who could it be at this hour? Everyone but Ron of course was in bed. I wrenched the door open and gasped in shock – it was Draco! I backed away, blushing. I'd just been thinking about him and I didn't want him above all people to see me crying. But why, why was I bothered about him? He entered the room, slowly and sympathetically.  
"Hagrid's had me four times" he said dolefully.  
"Four?" I exclaim.  
"Yes, four" he repeated, "and each time was worse than the last." I shudder, I am horrified. Hagrid has to be stopped, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with this. I give Malfoy what I hope is a sympathetic look, he is looking crestfallen, and a little voice whispered at the back of my mind,  
"He's also looking very cute"  
"What? No! Shut up!" I yell silently, in reply to the voice. What is happening to me? A long blond strand of Malfoy's fringe falls into his eyes, automatically I brush it away, and look deep into his eyes. I break away again, staring disgustedly at my hand. It was if it had acted of its own accord. "You had better get to bed Malfoy" I mumble. Now it was his turn to look mortified, and he fled from the tower.

**Author's Notes: **Writing in the first person is difficult. But for feelings nothing's better, because if somebody is telling you how they feel, it's utterly more believeable than someone else telling you how someone else feels.

Keep on reviewing! Thanks to the lovely reviews I've had so far. You chaps are too kind, honestly!


	3. The Relief

**Disclaimer: **Blah blah, Potter not mine. I shouldn't bother with this, JKR encourages fanfics.

**Chapter three, in which Harry solves his current problems. **

My sleep was troubled, images of Hagrid and Dra... I mean Malfoy flashed through my dreams. I woke up at a ridiculous hour of the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I got dressed and went down to the common room. I sat in front of the embers of the dying fire and forced myself to sort this mess out. What was I going to do about Hagrid? It was to be Care of Magical Creatures tommorrow, well, today... What was I going to do? How could I cope? Maybe, maybe I could ask Drac... I mean Malfoy, to help... I pondered this thought, unsure of what to do.  
I wondered how many other young people Hagrid had had his evil way with. Whether many people had suffered his abuse in silence. I felt angry, angry and appalled. I felt the need to express my feelings, but how? I felt the same familiar tug at the back of my mind. The voice was mischievous and teasing. It kept murmuring  
"Draco..."  
I silently yelled at the voice. There was no way I was going to talk to him, he was my arch enemy. You don't go to your arch enemy for a friendly natter in the middle of the night. It just isn't done.  
The voice persisted. I needed to get out of there, to do something to take my mind off this torture. Suddenly someone crawled through the portrait hole. I gaped at the familiar blonde head.  
"Malfoy?" I spat in disbelief "What on earth are you doing in here? This is meant to be private. You're a Slytherin! Have free reign of the castle, I suppose do you?"  
Malfoy smiled a small secret smile, which made me feel slightly more comfortable. I didn't know he smiled genuinely.  
"Do I need to remind you that father is a governor?"  
I hadn't thought that being the child of a governor would bring such privileges. I wondered why Malfoy hadn't done worse things, he could easily get to our dorm. I brushed these thoughts aside as he began to speak.  
"Harry," he said. I marvelled quietly that he called me Harry, but didn't say anything, I wanted to know what he had to say. "Harry, we have Care of Magical Creatures tommorrow."  
"Today" I corrected.  
He grinned again. Malfoy smiling genuinely was a strange experience. I grew serious again.  
"Oh god Malfoy, I don't know what I'm going to do. How will I handle it? It makes me shudder just to think about it."  
He flopped down into the chair next to me, sighing heavily. He looked very confused. As though it were a great trial, he said to me,  
"Harry, I'll... I'll be there if you, if um, if you need to talk. Maybe... maybe we could be friends... or something" he finished lamely. This seemed to take such an effort for him to say that he lost all of his usual eloquence. I stared at him for a few seconds. His eyes looked so tender, they were mesmorising. I gulped.  
"I'd... I'd like that." And smiled ruefully at him.  
We were staring at each other, green on silver "The colours of Slytherin" I thought, absently. I leaned in to get a closer look at his hypnotic eyes. They drew me in, it was futile to struggle, like I had been hooked onto a fishing line. My breathing quickened as I realised how close we were, but not wanting to ruin the moment I didn't back away. Suddenly, the fire I thought dead crackled extra loudly, snapping us out of doing something very stupid. I concentrated on the floor. I felt the heat of the fire forming beads of sweat on my brow; my palms perspired. I trembled. I wondered if Draco was feeling this way too.  
Draco slowly opened his mouth and ran his tongue over his lips. I wanted him to lick mine too. I gaped, disgusted at what I was thinking. I couldn't understand my feelings, especially as they were for Malfoy. I scarcely recognised these, except for the fact that they were vaguely similar to those I'd felt for Cho Chang. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable, the heat of the fire was making me feel drowsy, and I could feel Draco's eyes penetrating my heated features. I glanced at him, taking in his long, delicate eyelashes and perfect bone structure.  
"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look flushed."  
"I'm fine!" I blurted out. "Look, we'd better go" Light was pouring in one of the windows, highlighting Draco's silvery hair.  
He glanced outside, nodded in a businesslike manner and said  
"Yes, I'll go now. But I'll be there for you in CoMC, don't worry. I'll be there."  
I felt so grateful to him. I stammered my thanks and he got up and walked towards the portrait hole. When he reached the hole, he turned round and said  
"You called me Draco." He grinned and made his exit. I went up to my dorm and got dressed. I headed down to breakfast with the other Gryffindor boys, in a considerably better mood than I had been since... well since the incident. This explained what I was feeling then. Draco was my friend. I was starting to care about him as a friend! I felt content.  
I sat with my back to the Slytherin table, yet I could feel his eyes boring into my back. I began to tremble, hoping that nobody would notice my present state. Hagrid had just strode in. His steps were large, swaggering and arrogant. When he got to the staff table he sat down, and stared at me, smirking. He noticed how unnerved I was. He looked far from concerned. The pervert was finding my state arousing.  
The day flew by, as if someone had magically sabotaged time itself. Soon enough I found myself bracing myself to walk down the long, menacing path to Hagrid's hut, for CoMC. I was glad Hermione and Ron weren't here, I felt the need for space. The closer I got to his hut, the slower my steps became. I heard quick footsteps behind me and turned to see Draco behind me. At once I felt reassured, almost calmed by his solitary presence. He put out a hand and squeezed my shoulder. I felt an odd sensation occur like fluttering in my stomach. I didn't want him to let go, time seemed to stop for us.  
"Alright, Potter?"  
He seemed genuinely concerned. I was used to concern, I had Mrs. Weasly for that. I had the whole wizarding population! I was the Boy-Who-Lived. This, though, was special. Draco actually cared how I was feeling, and this made me feel important. I felt ready for anything, even Hagrid now that Draco and I were friends. We were a team. Unstoppable, The King of Darkness and the Boy Who Lived. It made me feel... special.  
We walked down to the hut together, earning a lot of odd looks from both Slytherins and Gryffindors. It was then that I realised how odd this must look, two mortal enemies accompanying one another to lessons. Could our friendship continue with the pressure from both sides? Draco seemed to sense what I was thinking, and sneered  
"Okay Potter? Can walk from here? Not going to faint again? I could swear I saw a nasty old dementor lurking in those trees."  
His Slytherins chuckled appreciatively. I knew what he was doing, and I was pleased that we were thinking along the same lines. The comments still stung though.  
I stared at him, witheringly.  
"Along with a Hippogriff I should imagine, you big trouser wetting sissy."  
I winced at how utterly pathetic the insults were, but the Gryffindors still guffawed at them.  
Hagrid strode out of his hut. I felt sick to the bone that he was still loose, and not locked away in Azkaban.  
"Today we're going ter be learnin' abou'..." Hagrid's deep voice started. I couldn't bear to hear it. I wasn't listening to what he was saying. His loud voice echoed throughout the clearing. I wondered how Hagrid could stand there, teaching me, as if nothing had happened. Hagrid didn't seem ashamed or worried at all, and this really angered me.  
"Yeh'll need the followin' objects..." continued Hagrid. I couldn't bear his easy attitude any longer. I found myself standing up, everyone was looking at me. Hagrid was cut short as I shouted:  
"You rapist! You think you can get away with sexually abusing young boys! You make me sick! You disgust us!"  
The clearing was silent. Everyone was staring at me, their mouths hanging open and a shocked expression on their faces. Hagrid gulped.  
Draco stood up and said,  
"We won't take it any more you know, you fiend."  
I suddenly realised what Draco's personal vendetta against Hagrid had been about. It was because Hagrid had raped him. Things fell into place. The voice was back, asking who could blame Hagrid, Draco was gorgeous. I pushed the voice away but for once didn't argue with it.  
Seamus stood up and declared his agreement, as did Dean and Blaise Zabini. The girls stared at Hagrid, disgusted. Hagrid looked petrified to see a swarm of angry Seventh year students, who had more magical training than he'd ever completed, who were rounding in on him with looks of absolute hatred embedded in their faces, I was amongst them, hating him more than I'd ever hated anything. He realised that he was in trouble and bellowed; and ran past us into the forest. We were all silent. Nobody could think of anything to say.  
Draco smirked.  
"Maybe we'll learn how to take care of real magical creatures now that the oaf has gone."  
Despite my usual surge of anger at these comments, I grinned. Parvati Patel looked at me and smiled, assuringly. I knew I had the support of my Gryffindor classmates. I felt happier than I had since Ron and Hermione had left me alone. I hadn't realised how lonely I was, I was glad I had Draco and the other Gryffindors now. A great weight had been taken off my shoulders. I could smile properly now.

**Author's Notes:** I just noticed that I've been skipping tenses. It's in the past tense first person from now. I'm quite proud of this story so far. I love my reviewers! I love the people that review! You make writing this worthwhile. I can make a promise, this is gonna be an epic!


	4. Teenage Fling

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this you know. Most unfortunate that.  
  
This chapter was difficult to write. The only relationship I condone in this story is Harry and Draco, but I thought this would be a good twist.  
  
**Chapter 4, in which Harry gains the trust of an unexpected.  
**  
Most of my evening was spent finishing homework by the fire surrounded by my fellow Gryffindors. I hadn't felt so safe in ages. This afternoon had surprised me... I had no idea that so many boys were in the same unfortunate position. Now that Hagrid had taken off they were suddenly able to talk about their experiences. The girls were gathering round us looking concerned and horrified as we told our tales.  
It appeared that Hagrid had the same rape routine for each of his victims; sometimes he varied it if the mood took him. I told my fellow Hagrid victims of my experience; how angry I was that Hagrid had taken my virginity anally. They were all very sympathetic.  
Parvati and Lavender Brown walked over to us, Lavender Brown sat on the arm of Dean Thomas' chair and whispered something in his ear. Dean started giggling, I thought that was a bit weird, Dean giggling, but was distracted by Parvati blushing furiously and yelling at them to shut up. I grinned and settled happily in my arm-chair, groaning only slightly at the sight of the roll of parchment left to fill on Temperature Altering Charms.  
  
Still, I was traumatised. I went to the library to be alone, oh, and to research Grindlewald for Defence Against the Dark Arts. I thought of this thing with Hagrid, of Sirius' death, of Ron and Hermione leaving me... I buried my head in my hands, beyond crying. Suddenly I felt a comforting hand draped across my shoulders, I looked up into beautiful eyes to see Parvati sitting next to me looking sympathetic.  
"I know that you need some alone time, Harry, but I thought you might appreciate someone just being around..."  
I looked at her and murmured my thanks. I hadn't paid much attention to her since the Yule Ball, I wondered if she remembered what an idiot I had been. She smiled at me comfortingly and took the books from her bag. We spent the next hour studying in silence. It wasn't at all uncomfortable and I was happy just to have someone near me without them trying to understand me.  
Time ticked by and I started to sense her eyes on me. Suddenly she spoke.  
"I think you were really brave, standing up to Hagrid like that." She placed her hand on my leg, just above my knee. I noticed that it was slender and dainty. My mind went numb with the shock. She was staring into my eyes, lips slightly parted. She said  
"I've been wanting to talk to you for ever so long, Harry."  
I couldn't look her in the eye.  
"I'm glad we're alone together now," she continued, "we can express ourselves freely."  
I began to feel slightly uncomfortable.  
"Harry," she said, "Harry..."  
I didn't know what she was about to say and then she came out with it.  
"I love you Harry Potter."  
Then everything went blurry, thousands of thoughts raced through my head. My heart pounded in my chest and I felt delirious. I felt too hot; my palms perspired and my senses were unbalanced. Everything in my head whirred faster and faster – I thought I was about to faint – I couldn't breathe, what was happening to me? My head was throbbing, throbbing, throbbing...  
And then nothing, a vacuum, I felt nothing, I saw nothing, I felt light and blissful. Then in a vision through the darkness I saw Hagrid. I shook my head, the blurred vision of Hagrid disintegrated. I looked up at Parvati who was still holding me, looking concerned. "Harry, are you okay?" I smiled at her, and nodded. She looked at me, she looked so soft, so vulnerable. I couldn't hurt her after what she'd just told me. Plucking up the courage from deep within, even though I knew the answer already, I said "Parvati, do you wanna go out with me?" She laughed and fell into my arms. She held my face in both hands and kissed me full on the lips. The kiss grew deeper. Eventually we broke apart. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar blonde running from the library. I wondered why he hadn't come to talk to me. I supposed he was late for a lesson, or something like that. I pushed the thought away, I seemed to be doing that a lot when it came to Draco, and turned to Parvati.  
  
"Shall we head up to the common room and brave everyone else?" She laughed and nodded. We strolled all the way back to the common room holding hands, with her head resting on my shoulders. It was comfortable. We climbed through the portrait hole and when Lavender, Seamus, Neville and Dean spotted us together they cheered. I grinned, and called to them "Hey guys, we have something to tell you" They grinned too, there was lots of grinning going on that night. "We know mate!" Dean giggled. "Lavender told us as soon as she found out Parvati liked you! We've been waiting for you two to get back from the library. Parvati went with a mission. It looks like it was accomplished!" Parvati sniffed "I'll have you know, Mr. Thomas, Harry asked ME out." She glanced at me affectionately, I smiled back at her.  
  
I awoke, bathed in sweat looking around to make sure I wasn't still dreaming. No there was Neville fast asleep on his back snoring quietly. Seamus murmuring, and whimpering, lost in a world of his own. It was still dark, fumbling for my glasses, my dorm came in to focus, it was 3.42 am.  
  
I shivered, in an invisible breeze, I wouldn't get back to sleep again tonight. Quietly I slid out of my comforting bed on to the cold hard stone floor. I crept towards the door, not wanting to arouse the others; I slowly pulled the heavy old door open and began down the narrow flight of stairs a sleepwalker in a conscious state. Gratefully I sank in to the warmth and darkness of the common room, contemplating what had aroused my insomnia. Yes I remembered, a jigsaw of muddled scenes filled my head I sank back in to the comfort of the old armchair staring in to the dying embers.  
  
The mirrored reflection stared out unknowing, unseeing a tall boy, mysterious green eyes, black dishevelled hair, an assortment of ill fitting muggle clothes hid his thin frame. I blinked, the mirror image of myself stared back at me. Suddenly out of the smoky background of the mirrored surface, a distorted shape was growing, forming becoming clearer. Cautiously I stepped backwards. Blonde hair, silver steel eyes, a blonde eyebrow arched, watched me I noted his expression he wasn't wearing his usual smugness instead... I felt an odd sensation begin to occur starting in my stomach, spreading to the tips of my fingers. The figure of Malfoy came to stand behind me I gasped and turned. I looked deep in to his masked eyes. I felt like an animal trapped in the glare of a headlight. His eyes drew me I felt...magnetised, I tried to ask what he was doing but no words escaped my lips. I felt a warm hand caress my cheek, our lips just brushed and then...  
  
Then the window banged, snapping me out of my reverie.  
  
I went down to breakfast and plonked myself down next to Parvati. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled lovingly. I could feel Draco's gaze searching my face. I avoided his eyes struggling to not come in to contact with his steely stare. "Harry...? Harry...." Parvati repeated louder. "What...Yes?" "Harry what is wrong with you? You look like you haven't had a wink of sleep all night? And you aren't touching your food." Parvati sounded exasperated. Hearing her tone I forced a smile on my grim features. "Come on, silly boy, if you aren't going to eat anything lets, get going to charms." She said in a playful tone. We stood up to leave. Parvati slid her hand in to my perspiring palm and gave me a reassuring smile. I could still feel Draco's gaze on the back of my neck. I was ashamed to look at him and I didn't know why. I casually strolled from the hall and slipped my arm around Parvati's slim waist as we began the journey to Flitwick's classroom. Through charms, herbology and lastly divination I sat, cast in to an unshiftable gloom. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. I was actually beginning to love Parvati. Yet as I had sat through lunch, on catching Draco's eye, I had felt the same familiar sensation settle in the pit of my stomach, the same, inexplicable shame.  
  
**Author's Notes:** I'm so sorry! Harry is going through denial, and he's doesn't realise what he's doing to Draco and Parvati is so lovely to him, and trust! He's got people's trust! Poor boy.  
  
And poor Draco! I think that he's realised that there are "sparks." And he's come to terms with his feelings, he's awfully mature. He may have even gone to the library to talk to Harry, and then he sees him kissing Parvati, and he runs because he now thinks that Harry doesn't feel the same way, and the sparks weren't both ways. He's disgusted at himself, he's come to terms with this and then he's let down. Poor Draco! I don't want to do this to him!  
  
Thanks to my reviewers:  
  
**Dead yet a love sick puppy:** My first loyal reader and reviewer! Thank you so much. You've commented on every chapter so far, you have my eternal gratitude etc. You're right not to feel sorry for Hagrid, he's horrible here. And Harry is certainly stubborn in his denial!  
  
**Sun-sun kat**: I'm glad you think this is good work :D I do hope to keep it up.  
  
**TJ Falcos**: Thanks very much. That comment's been really boosting. It's because of comments like this that I plan to keep up any work.  
  
**Beloved:** I know, it's horrible! You all probably think me terribly twisted, but this was the most traumatising, disturbing thing I could think of that was remotely within the realms of common decency. Although it's certainly pushing the boundaries.  
  
**Inylan:** Tut tut! Yes, this certainly does seem like it's going to be long! I have a whole story mapped out and it's not simple.  
  
**Coty Wiley:** Thank you very much, I'm glad you think I'm an awesome writer. 


	5. Teenage Fling's uncertainty

Don't ever imagine I own this. You'll be sorely wrong.

**Chapter 5. Parvati and Harry**

The next few days passed as a blur, spending the days with Parvati and the nights dreaming of Draco. I was confused... Draco used to be my friend, but if I tried to talk to him he walked off in the other direction. I was happy with Parvati; she was so understanding and friendly, I felt relaxed around her. Hagrid hadn't returned so professor Grubbly-Plank took Care of Magical Creatures.  
  
It was Wednesday and we were subjection to double potions. I sat with Parvati, surrounded by my fellow Gryffindors, but my eyes were drawn to him against my will. Unfortunately for me Snape had another plan to increase my misery.  
  
"Today we will be working on a Growth Potion. I will put you into pairs. Blaise, go with Thomas, Pansy - Patil, Draco, you will be watching over our very own mr. Potter."  
  
I blanched, this couldnt be happening. I made my way over to Draco's table and smiled bravely at him.  
  
"Hi Draco."  
  
He looked sidelong at me, I was completely shocked at the hatred present in his eyes.  
  
"Look, Potter, don't try and be all pally with me. We've got to make this Growth Potion together and believe me, that's bad enough; don't try and be friendly along with all of that! Now shred that burdock."  
  
I had expected a little hostility, but this all out hatred completely threw me. Wasn't it Draco who had offered to be friends a week or so ago? I was very upset. I passed Draco the shredded burdock. He snatched it from me with a grimace, I watched him strip the leaves of a wilting plant. I felt as if it were I he was stripping, stripping me of one of the only real friendships I had left. I watched, whilst feeling myself being torn from limb to limb. The rest of the lesson passed slowly, the clocks ticking away loudly, seemingly slowing down with every second. Draco would occasionally glance at me, his face blank of expression, his eyes glinting mysteriously. I kept smiling at him, to offer him some comfort, but each time I tried I was rewarded with a glare of malicious hatred.  
  
I left Potions brimming with anger at Draco's refusal to cooperate. Seeking comfort I fled to Parvati.  
  
She stroked my back as I glared miserably into the dying fire. I felt calm and reassured being with her most of the time, but today I was snappy and irritable.  
  
"Parvati, if you ask me once more if I'm okay, I swear I'm going to..."  
  
"Harry, what has gotten into you?" Parvati hissed. "I'm just trying to be here for you!" Standing up she stalked across the empty common room to the stairway up to her dorm.  
  
"Parvati, come on, I'm sorry"  
  
"Save it Harry, I'm not interested."  
  
Parvati stalked up the stairs, slamming the door loudly behind her.  
  
I sat, crumpled and alone. In the quiet common room, my head rested in his hands whilst my fingernails clawed through my dishevelled hair. I felt tears stinging my eyes.  
  
I fell asleep, ad a single tear rolled down my cheek.  
  
When I woke up, it took a few minutes for me to realise I was still in the Gryffindor common room, and not where I had been in my dream. My glasses lay in my lap, my clothes were creased. I moaned, the dream had thrown me completely. It was clearer than it had been last time, as if I were watching myself through a looking glass. Again, Malfoy had invaded my dreams, shattering them. But this time it had gone too far, unlike the last dream I was not awoken from this one by a handy window. This dream had been worse than the last... much worse. I cringed, my features burning at the mere memory of it.  
  
I was standing, looking over the giant lake. A mist was forming near the surface, it was dark and the only light was being shed from the moon and stars, leaving a silver trail dancing over the black water. A face masked of emotion suddenly glared at me. I turned cold, this wasn't happening again, I had only time to gasp before I felt a crushing blow to my stomach. I fell, knocked to the ground by this untimely punch. Gasping for air I lay, unable to move. I had seen a face hovering over me, with a look of pure hatred emblazoned on it.  
  
"Never shun a Malfoy, Potter. We don't do second best." the face spat.  
  
I sat up, what did Malfoy mean?  
  
He was still glaring down at me, his face was so close to mine I could see the flecks of silver in his cold, hard eyes.  
  
Malfoy drew closer, I could feel his hot breath on my face. We were inches apart. He put out his hand and stroked my cheek with his finger, it left a burning trail down my face. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across my forehead. He stood up and started to slowly walk backwards. His eyes never left my face.  
  
He turned and walked into the darkness, leaving me paralysed and breathless.  
  
I got up and walked across to the fire, stoking it a bit. What had this dreamt meant? Hands crept across my shoulders. I took hold of them, smiling happily.  
  
"Am I forgiven then?"  
  
She planted a kiss on my cheek as an answer, coming round and sitting on my lap.  
  
We started to kiss more deeply. This felt right.  
  
I woke up the next morning, in my bed, to find myself staring into beautiful sleepy brown eyes.  
  
"Do you regret doing that?"  
  
She laughed her musical laugh.  
  
"Not one bit."  
  
Seeming the need to seek reassurance, she asked me in turn  
  
"No...." I could feel my voice quaver slightly but Parvati ignorant, to my trembling tone visibly relaxed. She stretched luxuriously. Even through my closed curtains I could hear the slow sounds of Neville, Dean and Seamus waking. I whispered to Parvati, who after a cheeky smile, slipped silently from my bed. I listened to her footprints padding towards the door. The door closed quietly. I let out a suffocating sigh.  
  
I couldn't describe the rush of emotions channeling through my body. I felt used; lying to Parvati had been hard enough, hiding my feelings from her however had been worse. It had felt unnatural.... wrong. My feelings towards Parvati had...subsided?  
  
No they couldn't have, why would I have asked her out?  
  
"Pity, guilt."  
  
The return of my conscience awoke me from my sleepy musings.  
  
No I refuse to believe that.  
  
I loved Parvati.  
  
I could feel people shooting suspicious glances in mine and Parvati's direction; refusing to meet my eyes they glowered down in to their cereal bowls.  
  
I could feel the eyes of the Seamus, Lavender and Neville, watch as I turned and sat down next to Ginny. They were silent obviously expecting an explanation. In the background I heard Malfoy mutter, loud enough for the whole Slytherin table to hear,  
  
"Couldn't be what you're thinking, not with Saint Potter."  
  
They snickered appreciatively. I ignored him.  
  
Parvati turned to me, she smiled  
  
"Ignore them, they're pathetic" She glanced in the direction of the Malfoy table sending them a glowering look they laughed even louder.  
  
I had suffered enough humiliation,  
  
"You ready to go?" I asked, bored by the amount of attention I had managed to attract.  
  
I turned to leave, not waiting to find out if Parvati followed.  
  
First lesson was COMC with Professor Grubbly Plank. The lesson passed slowly we were studying the Beaked water imp. I sunk in to a gloomy mood of boredom sensing my lack of interest Parvati decided to cheer me up. To her this seemed to involve a lot of physical contact. I wasn't complaining. However, I could feel a heated glare scorch my back continuously through out the lesson. I turned, Parvati's slender arm, around my waist.  
  
She whispered something in my ear, I didn't hear, instead I just nodded and agreed, unhearing. She beamed up at me a cheeky twinkle in her huge velvety eyes. I could feel her hand move to the small of my back. Becoming irritated I turned to meet the fiery glare.  
  
Malfoy was looking furious; he had an odd flush on his cheekbones that I had never noticed before. His fists were clenched. And red-hot hatred burned from his silver eyes. Amused about Malfoys obvious state of mysterious discomfort, I raised an eyebrow, he held my gaze. There was surprisingly no trace of a smirk on his tight lipped mouth.  
  
Green on Silver once more.  
  
He broke my gaze, staring at Parvati in disgust. Instinctively my arm tightened around her waist protectively. Parvati however had other thoughts at the tightening of my grip she looked up in to my eyes a flirtatious grin settling on her lips.  
  
That flirtatious smile suddenly made me draw her nearer as I bent down to brush her lips, with a gentle kiss. She sighed deeply and pulled me in; sharp, hungry, I responded, slowly, making her moan with frustration. I pulled away; she smiled saucily at me.  
  
"I'll wait for tonight" she mouthed. Visibly.  
  
I met Malfoy's firm gaze. His face had turned pale. His eyes shrouded from any emotion, the silver had turned to a dark grey. All I could feel was the heat of his hatred scorching from his body.

**Author's Notes:**

You may not like my story, but you don't need to be out and out rude about it okay? Ah well, I suppose a genius is always persecuted for her work. Never recognised in her own time. Philistine.

Thankyou for my nice reviews. I'm feeling a little bitter now so I made Parvati Harry go further. Hah.


	6. The end of innocence

I lay on my bed, my drapes drawn, tracing the cracks in the ceiling with tired eyes. I was thinking about Malfoy. His reaction to Parvati. The look of disgust etched on his face as he coolly glanced at her. Why had he looked at her like that, and then glanced at me, with what I can only imagine as sympathy. I could feel the same burning irritation irrupt in the pit of my stomach, at his smug, know-it-all expression. Who did he think he was? A loud creak as someone pushed the door open, failing his or her obviously subtle approach with a whispered curse. Woke me from my deep musings. Irritated I ripped my drapes open, glaring at Parvati's startled face. However, annoyed I was I could feel my features melt in to a weak smile, at her look of vulnerability, from my scorching glare. "Sorry Parvati you startled me" I mumbled feebly. "Hey, don't worry! So much for my sneaky, attempt at surprising you, I though you'd be pleased to see me!" I could see a flicker of hurt cross her face. "Anyway I'm here now...." She smiled cheekily at me her eyes twinkled with mischief. She climbed up on to my bed next door to me. Smiling she moved closer, I could feel her hot breath tickling my face, she leaned over and brushed her succulent lips across my mouth. I watched her eyelids flutter closed. She pulled me in deeply, her hands, crawled up to my hair, I could feel her tangling her fingers through my already dishevelled appearance. I felt her gently, teasingly push her tongue against my closed lips. Willing me to allow her to explore my mouth. I resisted, and pulled away. Her eyelids opened. Avoiding her gaze I kept my eyes lowered watching my hands writhe. "Harry, Harry come on... Is there something wrong?" she placed her hand under my chin, forcing me to tilt my head up to meet her inquiring, gaze. "..No, I'm sorry Parvati, I really am, I just don't..." I muttered under my breath. "Don't worry Harry, I'm sure we can find something that will interest you." She smiled at me saucily. Her fingers slowly traced down to my Gryffindor tie. Clutching on to she slowly pulled me towards her, biting her lip kinkily. With skilled dainty fingers she undid my tie throwing it to the floor, ignoring my subtle movements, to edge from her firm grip. Moving on to my shirt she excitedly, began undoing my buttons, I could feel her hands trembling. I could tell she was having difficulty, sensing that any minute she was going to loose patience and end up ripping my shirt off me. Gently I tried to push Parvati off my now naked torso. "Parvati...Par...STOP!" I yelped as her searching gaze lowered to my trousers, as her fingers started to grope at my belt. Shocked by my sudden outburst, she glanced up. One look at my blazing eyes, Parvati crawled from straddling me. ""Parvati I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood." "Not in the mood...the mood? Harry since when has there ever needed to be a mood for a girlfriend to show her boyfriend how much she loves him? Hmmm...Does she?" Her voice was rising "Answer me Harry. I want to know where this relationship is going? Where...where? How can we call this a relationship?" She added as an after thought almost to herself. Before I knew it, tears began to stream down her face, causing her to look almost angelic. "Parvati...come on you think our relationship could be affected by one night? Parvati, I would have thought it would run deeper than that...For God's sake..." I didn't have time to finish my sentence. Parvati had left, slamming the door behind her. Her stricken, hurt face carved itself in to my mind. Realising I should go after her, I leapt down the stairs, two at a time, wondering where she would have gone. The Gryffindor common room was empty; I glanced at my muggle watch. It was nearly dinner, everyone would be assembling in the great hall. Running from the common room, I sprinted down to the great hall, not stopping to pause for breath. Drawing up outside the grand hall, I leaned against one of the walls, catching my breath. I could feel myself visibly trembling. Why, why? I thought to myself, did I have to be such an insensitive idiot. Breathing in deeply, I turned and hurried in to the great hall. It didn't take long to scan the Gryffindor table, laughter and jokes, reverberated, echoing around the hall. Panicking, I stumbled over to the Gryffindor table, finding, Seamus and Neville, I casually asked if either of them had seen Parvati, looking at me slyly, they commented crudely, on how surely, my heart would be able to seek her. They collapsed with laughter. Fighting the urge to hex them, I took their answer for a no. One more I scanned the table, no sign of her, and come to think of it there was no sign of Lavender either. Ignoring, Neville and Seamus' cackling I exited the hall; where would she be? Think Harry for God's sake. Of course that's where she's sure to be. I mused to myself, what a fool. I quickly, took off sprinting from the dying laughter of the hall. I hurried to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. On coming closer to the haunted residence, I slowed to a walk, listening out for any signs of Parvati. Creeping closer, I slowly turned the door handle, the door whined nosily as it opened. Blinking through the gloom I uttered an incantation quietly under my breath, immediately, the hazy gloom was illuminated. I blinked, the brightness, temporarily blinding me. Opening my eyes, I wasn't prepared for the shock that hit me, "..Parvati...L....Lav....Lavender?"  
  
The two girls were stood in the centre of the bathroom, sharing a passionate embrace, while Myrtle sat on top of a cubicle dumbfounded at what she was seeing.  
  
I turned and ran. I ran until my chest hurt with a numbing pain, until I thought my lungs would burst from the lack of oxygen. All I concentrated on was putting as much distance between me and that moaning myrtle's bathroom as possible. Only stopping when I knew I couldn't be any farther from Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, I collapsed outside, heaving in deep breaths of air, feeling as if I had just been plunged in to a whirl pool of emotions. 


	7. The Return

**I DON'T OWN THIS!**

**Chapter 7: The Return.**

I ran down to the edge of the forest, where there were still delicately beautiful trees, and where the light of the setting sun still filtered through the leaves, settling gently all over me like a thousand butterflies, fluttering their wings and trying to reassure me with their presence. It didn't work. I lay on my back glaring up at the darkening sky. Images of Parvati and Lavender flashed teasingly through my confused mind. I had been surprised at my lack of anger when finding Parvati and Lavender together. I could still hear their secretive giggling, echoing in my ears. This mixed with the image of their shocked guilty faces; Parvati's flushed features and her big shocked eyes. Confusion gave way in my overcrowded mind. I felt a rush of regret for everything I had had with Parvati, waves of humiliation passed over me, I felt as if I was slowly being suffocated. Yet still no anger appeared.  
  
Whilst pondering on my mixture of emotions I heard a loud snap and crack. It sounded like a gunshot, awakening me from my state of drowsiness. Immediately I sat up and pulled my wand from my robes.  
  
Silence.  
  
Feeling braver, as slowly and as quietly as I could, I stood up.  
  
"Lumos" I whispered.  
  
Golden light flooded the peaceful hollow. Another snap of a branch, I turned. Someone stumbled out of the trees, in to the glow of light eminating from my wand.  
  
I froze. I couldn't move, it seemed he couldn't either, we both stood caught in the light of my wand, now trembling violently in my clammy grip.  
  
"No" I breathed. "Its not possible, y.... you....you're............dead." I took a deep shuddering breath before uttering the fatal word. I felt icy cold. My breathing became laboured, I fought the idea to turn and run.  
  
"That's what I thought" He gave me a grim smile.  
  
He stared out at me through a fringe of dark grotty hair, he was deathly pale. Streaks of dried blood painted his body. His ragged robes hung limply from his wizened body. His eyes were the only part of him that held any emotion. They looked like giant whirlpools, black, and glittering dangerously.  
  
We stood transfixed with the sight of each other. Neither able to move let alone utter a single word.  
  
"Harry" He managed to finally rasp out.  
  
Not needing an exclamation, all of our words had been portrayed in silent acknowledgement. I ran and threw myself into his arms. I could feel how weak he was, his ribs dug in to me as I tried to hug him, terrified of his fragility.  
  
"Dumbledore" I finally gasped out. All thoughts of Lavender and Parvati forgotten.  
  
He managed a weak smile and nod, before he passed out in my arms. I didn't need a lightening charm to carry him. I clung to his skeletal frame as I made my way back to the safety of Hogwarts.  
  
"Need to find Dumbeldore" I chanted in a mantra, needing to focus my mind to stop me from breaking down.  
  
Entering the great doors, I staggered, up the few steps that led me to its safe haven. It was the end of dinner, pupils started to drift from the great hall, talking and chattering.  
  
I pushed past them; Sirius was shaking uncontrollably, cast in to a nightmare. He clung to my robes, moaning. I staggered towards the hall, the weight of Sirius's, nightmares dragging me down. The laughter stopped as I came in to view.  
  
"It's ok, you're going to be ok, shhh, don't worry go back to sleep." I spoke quietly to Sirius, in the deathly hush that followed, everyone could hear the quiet words being gently spoken in a soothing manner.  
  
I suddenly realised what I must look like, Sirius pale, bloodied limp body dark bruised eyes, open unseeing as he tossed and clung to me flung in to an endless nightmare.  
  
Still muttering in an attempt to comfort Sirius I walked though towards the great halls doors. The few people who had filtered from the hall separated leaving a path for me to stagger through.  
  
On entering the hall. I nearly collapsed at the relief of seeing Dumbledore. The whole hall turned and looked at me their eyes in shocked disbelief. Gasps and cries echoed through the hall, Dumbeldore's eyes shrouded, drew me to him. I sought comfort. Sirius had started to whimper and shriek in pain. I stopped and stroked his head, he was bathed in sweat his eyes were rolling. I spoke soothing him. I could feel people's horrified faces following me down the hall  
  
I raised my eyes from Sirius's contorted features, my eyes glazed. I met Malfoy's gaze; he looked at me, not once taking his eyes from my face. Emotions seemed to be playing transparently through his eyes. As I drew nearer, a whisper of  
  
"Its Sirius Black, that's not Sirius Black, yes its Sirius Black." The whisper rose to cries of terror.  
  
It seems even the Ministry's official recognition of his innocence hadn't convinced some.  
  
Reaching the great table, Dumbledore looked like he had seen a ghost, his expression vanished quickly in one movement he swept down to my side, relieving me of Sirius's writhing body. He checked Sirius's pulse, and then glanced at me, a small hidden smile, played on his lips. I looked in to his eyes finding the reassurance I sought.  
  
I turned and faced the audience of captive listeners. "Yes, it's Sirius black. My Godfather. A good man. A free man, an innocent man. An alive man...."  
  
Everyone listened in Silence, as I slowly, in pain relived the memories of my meeting of Sirius in the shrieking shack. I told of Peter Pettigrew. Of how he had escaped, only to meet another kind of imprisonment, how he'd fallen through the veil then come back to me. And how Sirius WAS a free man.  
  
"Anyone who contradicts Harry here, feel free to speak now."  
  
I looked at Malfoy, I watched his eyes flicker from, me to Sirius. I watched his lips form a secretive smile. I nodded my appreciation, but was still utterly dumbfounded.  
  
Having Malfoy's trust, even as my worst enemy meant a lot to me. Even if his father was in Azkaban, and there was nothing he could do to hurt Sirius or me I needed his response.  
  
My eyes were wrenched from Malfoy's by Sirius's blood curdling shriek, Dumbeldore still held me him firmly, Sirius fell silent, I could feel the whole hall watch my response. He spluttered, and awoke, sucking in huge gasps of air, Dumbeldore helped him to his unsteady feet.  
  
"Harry, Harry where are you? Oh Harry!"  
  
"Don't worry I have you, come on" I looked at Dumbeldore, beseechingly.  
  
"Hospital wing, you take him, I need to stay here and hold up the riot. Meet me in my study in 15 minutes we need to talk. We can talk to Sirius later." He whispered a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
I smiled gratefully.  
  
"Come on Sirius, you're going to have to lean on me"  
  
I supported his weak frame, as we staggered from the hall. It took a long time, to walk from the Great hall, all eyes upon us; Dumbeldore had started to talk, to the audience, of students. Unhearing, I focused on getting Sirius to the hospital wing. Sirius limped feebly, it seemed to last for hours. Sirius groaned,  
  
"Come on, we're nearly there, come on, come on Sirius, I'm here for you, you're never going to go again. I'm never going to leave you, come on, a few more steps."  
  
Sirius groaned again, we stopped so he could regain his breath, he gasped, sucking in huge mouthfuls of air. He was trembling again.  
  
Suddenly, I felt someone come and take Sirius' feeble weight, holding up the limp side of his unsupported body. I glanced over to see who had broken the silent ranks of the student body, to come and help a convicted murderer. Silver eyes, held my gaze. I had no energy left to even talk, he understood.  
  
"It's okay Potter" He muttered quietly he smiled and rolled his eyes,  
  
"Come on, let's get going" he talked comfortingly to both me and Sirius who was slipping in and out of consciousness.  
  
I sat in Dumbledore's study; I felt numb, inside and out. Malfoy had accompanied me, and was now sitting with me, in companionable silence. Only broken by his soft breathing.  
  
"I heard about, Parvati, sorry." He flushed slightly. I glanced over at him, taking in his flushed cheekbones.  
  
"Thanks" I muttered.  
  
"Are you upset about it? Because if you err, ever want to talk." He refused to meet my eyes. Realising how hard that must have been for him to say, I smiled.  
  
"Not really, I'm just glad she's, happy. Lavender will make a much better girlfriend than I ever made as a boyfriend." I smiled, finding this situation strangely amusing. Discussing my love life with Malfoy I scoffed to myself.  
  
My smile was wiped from my face however, by the entrance of Dumbeldore, he looked worried and his brow was creased with wrinkles.  
  
"Mister Malfoy, would you kindly excuse us for a moment?"  
  
With one last fleeting glance at Harry, Malfoy left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Sir, is he alright? I tried to explain to Madam Pomfrey but she made me leave before I could get a word in edgeways."  
  
"Don't worry Harry, she's given Sirius a dreamless sleeping draught to stop his attack of nightmares. She seemed quite keen to be able to help Sirius. She always was fond of him as a boy. His nightmares are quite severe; he will need to be monitored. Madame Pomfrey will check tomorrow for any signs of anything wrong with him, but for now all he needs is sleep. When I went to see him Harry he wanted me to tell you that he came back to find you."  
  
There was a pause, as we both dwelled on things, I think our thoughts were probably very similar, both concern about the welfare of the man we both cared about so much.  
  
"Now Harry, I need you to tell me everything you know." Dumbledore snapped back to attention, fixing me with a stern look.  
  
It didn't take long for me to tell Dumbledore, of my meeting with Sirius. Dumbledore sat at his desk, a far away look in his eyes. Once I finished with telling him everything I knew, I sat and waited for an acknowledgement of my presence, but still Dumbledore's eyes seemed to be searching for an explanation.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
Dumbledore snapped from his reverie. He smiled ruefully, before asking in a tone, that sounded as if he were in complete awe.  
  
"How on earth did he escape the veil? Once you have fallen in there, there is no escape. I don't understand. First Azkaban, and now this." He smiled at me, his twinkle returning to his eyes.  
  
"You have an incredibly lucky Godfather you know that don't you Harry? Now go and get some rest and I'll talk with you and Sirius in the morning. How on earth? " Dumbeldore had fallen back in to his musings.  
  
Harry crept quietly from the room, to his surprise, he found Malfoy waiting by the stone gargoyle.  
  
"What are you doing still here?"  
  
"I just.... wanted to check to see of you were okay" He stammered in a rush.  
  
"I'm fine." I turned and started to walk away.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
I raised an eyebrow why did he care anyway? "To see Sirius."  
  
"Look I'm sorry for the way I've been lately."  
  
Again I stopped. This time I turned and faced him. "You're apologising to me Malfoy? Since when do Malfoys apologise?" I could see the humiliation creeping up his neck in twisting blossoms of a delicate pink.  
  
"Look I'm sorry as well. Let's just forget it, okay?" With that I turned and walked away, leaving Malfoy alone in the corridor, staring after me forlornly. However when I got to the corner he was gone.  
  
Sirius was fast asleep, a small smile curling the corner of his mouth. Madame Pomfrey had cleaned him up; discarding his bloodied ripped clothing in exchange for her starchy hospital pyjamas. I sat and watched the rise and fall of Sirius's chest as he breathed deeply, relaxed.  
  
I woke up next to Sirius he was awake, stretching and yawning; Madame Pomfrey had opened the curtains letting light stream in on her awakening patients. Groggily I sat up and picked my glasses up from where they had fallen. Putting them on Sirius's face came in to focus. I yawned, and Sirius smiled weakly.  
  
"I thought it had been a dream, that I had been rescued by you" He smiled and ruffled my already untidy hair.  
  
"How did you sleep?"  
  
"Like a log, the first night's sleep in a long time." He smiled hungrily.  
  
"When's breakfast?" he inquired wolfishly.  
  
I laughed.  
  
Then, remembering the night before, the smile slowly faded from my face. I felt my eyes widen. Sensing my sudden tension Sirius looked worried; I explained about how Dumbeldore was going to come and question him, about how on earth he escaped from that veiled archway. Sirius lost his smile. His face, shrouded in to darkness, his eyes turned black. Sensing his aggravation, I reassured him,  
  
"Don't worry, you don't have to talk about Sirius, I..." Sirius interrupted me.  
  
"...No, Harry, I want to talk about it, I need to get it off my chest, then maybe then, these nightmares will stop. I've felt as if I've been trapped in a never-ending ghoulish dream that wasn't ever going to stop, until yesterday when you saved me Harry. You..." He started shivering.  
  
"Ssshhhh don't worry. You have been there for me when I've needed you, I want to return the favour." I said earnestly.  
  
"Madame Pomfrey will be back any minute, go and get some breakfast, I'll talk to Dumbledore, I want you to be with me when I have to relive this hell." He smiled weakly and closed his eyes. I knew it would take more than one night's sound sleep and a chat with Dumbledore to make him well again. He'd been through more than I cared to think about.  
  
Entering the great, hall, I felt rather than heard the hushed whispers reverberating around the giant room and washing over me like a great tidal wave. Ignoring them I took my usual seat at the Gryffindor table. They chattered, and laughed, almost as if they were trying to fill the void of silence. I looked up, Paravti and Lavender were engrossed with each other whispering and giggling. I felt sick.  
  
Dean finally spoke up, "Umm, Harry how is he?" I noted how he almost stage whispered this. Everyone turned to stare.  
  
Looking up at him, holding his gaze, I replied, my voice was firm, even though I could feel myself trembling with nausea inside.  
  
"He's fine."  
  
I suddenly was hit by a wave of anxiety, and paranoia. How could I sit down here and eat, while Sirius was lying alone upstairs in a hospital bed? I didn't want to loose him again. He'd only just come back to me. I hadn't even told him how I feel. No I couldn't sit down here, feeling like a caged animal at a zoo.  
  
Abruptly I stood up, everyone's eyes following me  
  
"Harry where are you going? You've only just got here!"  
  
"Where am I going? Anywhere but here." I snapped at Ginny, who was honestly only concerned for me. I saw the hurt in her eyes. But I ignored it, and stalked from the hall.  
  
I walked, and walked, I felt as if I were in a daydream. I finally ended up outside, breathing heavily; I leant against one of the huge trees shading the south tower. My knees collapsed and I sunk surrounded by mammoth roots and grass. I rested my arms on my knees, before sinking my head in to my trembling arms. I sat, staring out over the lake. It was black; it mirrored the blue sky, and swirling clouds. It reminded me of the way Sirius had clung to my arms during his nightmarish fits. His eyes reflecting his terror.  
  
I heard movement from behind me, uninterested as to who it could be I ignored the crackling of twigs under cautious foot.  
  
"Harry.... Harry I know you're here.... I just came to tell you..." Malfoy rounded the corner meeting my cold stare.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I saw you leave the hall, Dumbledore wants you to meet him and Sirius in his office... now."  
  
I let out the hiss of breath I had been holding in. Malfoy extended a hand. Stretching out, I let him pull me from my collapsed state.  
  
"Thanks... look Malfoy, I'm sorry about the other night, okay? I wasn't in the mood to talk, I suppose I was still in a state of shock."  
  
He smiled, at me. I felt my stomach jolt. This time I didn't blame it on nausea.  
  
We walked up to the castle in silence, contemplating our own private thoughts. On reaching the steps where we needed to part, Malfoy stopped and put out a hand and stroked my cheek, I didn't flinch away as I would have expected myself to do. Instead I didn't move. I stood staring, transfixed into his silver speckled eyes. His hand lingered at my chin before dropping back to his side.  
  
"You'll be fine" He whispered before turning and walking away with out a backward glance.  
  
I wanted to call out his name and say, "Will I?" Instead I turned and walked away.  
  
"I remember it all so clearly, falling backwards in to darkness and insufferable coldness taking over my body, slowly chilling me to the bone. It was like being trapped in a never-ending nightmare, unable to wake up. I remember at first, everything happened gradually, reliving the worst moments of my life. I would walk around in blinding darkness for what seemed like years. The hands of trapped spirits brushing against me. Clawing at my clothing and face.  
  
"I remember hearing the screams of some other trapped individuals, they would reverberate around the great void in which I was trapped leaving me shaking with uncontrollable terror.  
  
"At first I thought I would be able to fight it, but it got worse and worse. It enveloped me causing me to believe I had gone mad. My mind was left blank; I was eventually unable to think, I could feel my body slowly dying, yet my mind stayed alive, alert".  
  
Sirius shivered.  
  
"Sirius what was in these nightmares you had? " Dumbeldore asked gently.  
  
He took a deep breath before continuing.  
  
"I would see dementors, sucking the souls from vulnerable children; they would...laugh, I never even saw a dementor laugh in Azkaban, it is truly horrible. Fathers and Mothers, screaming, crying sacrificing themselves to save their loved ones. I would watch My loved ones, being tortured, by the crutacius curse, twitching, eyes rolling, their features contorted in pain.  
  
"Everywhere I turned I would see death, destruction, chaos. Families being torn apart. Their shrieks mingling with the laughter of dementors. These images would replay in my mind; continuously throughout the time I was there.  
  
"That was only half of what I saw, as I said I would go back in time to relive the worst possible moments of my life. James and Lily's death, 12 years in Azkaban...I felt depressed, I wanted to die, but I couldn't. How could I? There was nothing there. Except, for space, just space, and empty space."  
  
Dumbledore glanced at me; I was bathed in sweat, shaking. My eyes were huge and had turned a dark green. Sirius was calm, his voice wasn't trembling, and he seemed empty of any emotion  
  
"In attempt to escape my madness I would concentrate on filling myself with the happiest memories I possessed. Sirius smiled ruefully. I remember one of my favourite memories was you Harry, your face when I asked you if you wanted to come and live with me, that happy Christmas at Grimmauld Place and so many other little things like that.  
  
"I would focus on these memories until they filled the empty shell in which I lived. They made me feel human again. They kept me from the madness that was eating me from with in. Eventually my memories would take the form of you Harry. I would be able to see you. Stuck in those dark dismal times of despair, you were a guardian to me. At first I was so sure you were a hallucination but as time wore on and I was trapped with ghoulish nightmares slowly taking me to pieces you became almost real.  
  
"I would talk to you to keep the madness that was swallowing me up at bay. You in effect saved me Harry. I knew at anytime I would be able to think of you, see you, you were a part of me in there, Harry. I knew I hadn't left you, that you were always with me. Eventually you took the form of my happiest memories. Instead of dwelling on random thoughts, I would just think of you.  
  
"Somedays it was as if James was with me, smiling down at me reassuring me by your presence.  
  
"One of the days, it's a hazy memory, but I can vaguely recall it. You took me, led me. This might sound so odd to your ears, but my hallucinations were very severe. But you led me for what seemed like hours but for all I knew it could have been mere minutes that passed. You led me to a... a curtain that drew open at your touch. In this empty void I suddenly realised I must have at last lost my mind. But, I took the chance. The last thing I remember was your smiling face before I blacked out.  
  
"I awoke, cold, hungry, and alone days later. I was lying under a huge canopy of trees.  
  
"That was where you found me Harry I had no idea where I was. I had only just awoken and I was stunned out of recognition by the fact I was alive. On seeing you Harry, I thought I was still dreaming until you reacted!"  
  
I felt paralysed, I was unable to move, let alone speak. Suddenly I shivered, this small act seemed to wake me from my conscious state of shock.  
  
"Dumbeldore, I don't understand! How can this happen?"  
  
Dumbeldore had been resting his head in his hands, his blue eyes deep in oblivious thought.  
  
"I think I understand, let me try and explain. When your parents, died, as you know your Mother left a protective charm, to shield you from Voldemort. Well, when Sirius was appointed your Godfather, I believe your parents also cast a very powerful spell over the two of you, effectively binding you to one another. If anything was to happen to them, this spell would come in to action, it would ensure that Sirius and yourself would always be able to find each other."  
  
"So, you mean to say, I went into that Archway to find him?" I stuttered glancing at Sirius.  
  
"No Harry, that was just a part of you, part of you that is always bound to Sirius, and vice versa." Dumbeldore smiled.  
  
I looked over at Sirius, who seemed deep in thought,  
  
"Sirius...Sirius?"  
  
"Huh, wha...? Oh sorry, Harry." Sirius growled.  
  
"Are you okay? I mean this must have been really hard for you."  
  
"Not just for me Harry but for you too. Well now we have this all cleared up, would you mind if I went and got some sleep?" Sirius smiled.  
  
Dumbeldore chuckled lightly and let us leave.  
  
After guiding Sirius to the hospital wing, and ensuring he was asleep, I started slowly on the way back to the great hall. Lunch would be in 5 minutes, having missed dinner the night before I was ravenous.  
  
I arrived at the great hall, already it was half full, Dumbeldore was seated at the Great table, he smiled at me reassuringly. Taking my place between Neville and Ginny. Ignoring the stares and whispers I started to eat. Glancing up I looked directly in to silver tainted eyes. Looking sideways at Crabbe and Goyle, checking they were paying no attention. I watched Malfoy subtly flick his wand, and mutter something under his breath.  
  
Seconds later a piece of folded parchment appeared in my lap,  
  
Potter, Meet me outside the great hall after lunch. Malfoy.  
  
Looking up I could see Malfoy had finished eating. Standing up I quietly exited the hall. I could tell by not even turning that Malfoy was following me.  
  
Outside the hall I turned to face him. "...You wanted to see me?"  
  
With out a warning, Malfoy pulled me in to a breath-taking kiss, I could feel a familiar tingling sensation, start at the pit of my stomach. Pushing me in to a shadowed corner, I let out a mingled moan.  
  
Malfoy drew away and looked in to my eyes. His gaze was searching, taking in my features, my dishevelled hair, glazed eyes and heated cheekbones.  
  
"...Did you just kiss me Malfoy?" I murmured. It was his turn to flush, his features turning crimson.  
  
"...Oh God I'm so sorry, Harry, I thought you felt it too..." He took a step backwards and fled.  
  
For a moment, I wanted to rush after him and tell him that I had felt it, so badly. Instead I just let him run away. I didn't know what to do. I knew for a fact that I couldn't possibly have felt "it", whatever "it" was. I just knew, I couldn't...

**Author's Notes:**

They kissed! But I'm not that nice, honestly. I'm not going to let them get into a relationship already! Pfft, Harry is so deep in denial, it's amazing. Let the friendship commence...

My last chapter was a little rushed, so that's why there were no author's notes and no warnings about the return of sirius (I hope that's not too clichéd, it should work quite well) or this kiss. Or no breaks between paragraphs, so sorry about that.


	8. The Animagi

Disclaimer: I am in fact not JKR. This may come as a surprise to some of you, and I recommend a good hot cup of tea for the shock.  
  
**Chapter 8, The Animgagi**  
  
The next few days were spent wandering about in a daze. The recent chain of events was too bizarre to even contemplate. But I was in a happy sort of daze of course. Sirius, the closest thing I'd ever known to a father, had come back to me, and I spent most of my time with him in the hospital wing where he was recuperating; his time beyond the veil had taken so much out of him. Strict though she still was, Madame Pomfrey was letting me stay with Sirius regardless of the fact lessons still went on around the castle.  
  
Sirius was in a restful, dreamy state that day, and almost as soon as he'd finished eating his breakfast he went back to sleep, with a satisfied smile on his face and a baked bean on his chin. I grinned and wiped his chin with a napkin. For the first time in days I let my mind begin to wander. Rather than the usual contemplatory meander through my thoughts, my mind turned immediately to the kiss I had received a few days ago.

Dreamily I brushed my fingers against my lips, as if trying to recall the feeling. It had been tentative and soft... an ugly expression crossed my face as I recalled exactly who had given me this most magical of things. This was the boy I'd grown to hate since the first day in Diagon Alley, when he had already begun to preach to me about "the other kind".But then I remembered about these last few weeks, when he's been kind to me after we'd been so forcibly thrust together."Is it really so strange?" I wondered. "Why can't we be friends after what we've been through together?"I made my way over to the window, still deep in thought. I stared over the grounds, taking in the sites that were so familiar to me, but would seem so strange to many others. I looked at the Quidditch pitch, the lake, and the greenhouses. Memories flashed through my mind as I considered how much this school meant to me, and how the happiest times of my life were in this place. I looked at the Forbidden Forest and immediately thought of Sirius again, after he'd quite literally stumbled back into my life in that clearing on the edge of the forest. I glanced back toward his hospital bed and smiled fondly. Looking out of the window again, I surveyed the students as they went about their duties. It was already the beginning of second lesson, and they were all milling about happily, none particularly eager to forsake the bright summer's day for the relative gloom of the castle.At the edge of the forest, where the trees were still light and woody stood a boy and a girl. The girl was clasping her hands together by her face, head cocked to one side, like a puppy; she had obviously just asked the boy a question and was awaiting an answer from him. The boy stood with his hands thrust into his pockets, his head hung towards the ground and his feet were tracing shapes in the wood's dusty floor.Finally, he looked up and gave a small nod. I turned away. I could practically hear Parkinson's delighted squeals of  
"Oh Drakey!"I didn't know how Malfoy could let her do that. I knew I couldn't stand to have her arms clasped around my neck as she simpered all over me. I all but shuddered at the thought.My thoughts were directed towards the kiss again. My fingers reached my lips, tracing as before. Hadn't Malfoy kissed me? Malfoy and I were both boys, and yet there he was down in the forest with Parkinson, a girl. My brow was knotted, and I stared out of the window again, trying to fathom this boy out.Presently I was drawn out of my daze by a hand resting on my shoulder. It was Sirius. We stood for a good five minutes watching the grounds in all of their glory, the giant squid was lazily sculling across the lake and it occupied both of our gazes.Madame Pomfrey came up to us, a warm smile spread across her motherly countenance.  
"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, ever so sorry to disturb the two of you, but Professor Dumbledore requests both of your presence in his office. Now, Mr. Black, if you don't feel up to anything then I shan't allow you to go. You need to make a full recovery before you leave this wing. Are you quite certain that you're ready?"A dark looked flitted momentarily into Sirius' eyes, but was soon dispelled.  
"I think I am quite ready, thank you Poppy."  
She clucked irritably.  
"Hmmm, well, I won't let you leave without some chocolate at least."Sirius didn't need asking twice. With a greedy look on his face he took almost half of the outstretched bar. Grinning like a mischievous little boy he bit into it. It was good to see him having fun after all that he'd been through. We walked up to Dumbledore's office; Sirius' replies to my chatter often muffled by a mouth full of chocolate. As we walked around the corner, Sirius polished off the last of the bar. Licking his fingers he said  
"Mmmm, Honeyduke's Best Chocolate"The stone gargoyle at the foot of Dumbledore's stair sprang to one side. I stared incredulously at Sirius for a moment, and we both burst into laughter. Giggling, we went up the spiral staircase and stood in the hall outside still grinning a lot. The door opened and Dumbledore peered out. Seeing our happy faces did not seem to cheer him up, in fact it seemed to make his expression distinctly darker and more worried. He bade us come in and sit, we did so, confused at his manner, but still in high spirits. He sat; his hands never still, but twisting about one another nervously. He did not speak. I was about to ask him what Sirius and I were doing there when he did at last say something."Harry, Sirius. You know I care for you both deeply, and I do not want you to misunderstand what I am about to say. Hear me out. Now, few care for Sirius more than I do, and I am absolutely thrilled at his return from beyond the veil... However, this may present problems eventually. What I am about to tell you may not seem such a pressing concern now, your justified joy outweighing these problems quite considerably, and that is perfectly understandable."Now, you are both familiar with the prophecy concerning Harry and Voldemort of course. So you are both aware that eventually Harry will have to face the Dark Lord. It is a certainty. Now, no offence intended here Harry, but Lord Voldemort is a considerably more powerful and well versed in the Dark Arts than you are. Now, you will recall that at the end of your fifth year you only defeated Lord Voldemort due to your great love for Sirius and your anger and terrible sadness at losing him.

"Harry, to put it bluntly, now that Sirius has returned, I am concerned you will have lost this ability. There is nobody on earth you care about more than your Godfather, and unless Sirius dies once more at the hands of Lord Voldemort, we will have to find another method for you to channel your power into killing him."

I was aghast. Determined to prove Dumbledore wrong, I tried to recall that overwhelming sadness that had been weighing me down and clinging to me since Sirius had fallen, but it was gone. It had disappeared the moment I saw Sirius' face once more.

"There will be another way." I replied, with a certainty borne of desperation. Dumbledore smiled sadly.

"I'm sure there will be, Harry. I'm sure there will be. Now, if you're ready Sirius, I have prepared some quarters for you to stay in the castle, as I am certain you won't want to return to Grimmauld Place. Harry, well, I think it's high time you returned to your lessons."

* * *

In Potions I encountered Snape for the first time since Sirius' return. He seemed less than happy about this and determined to take it out on me. With his nastiest sneer he placed Malfoy and I together again. I could see Malfoy visibly blanching when Snape announced the pairings for the lesson.

"I do apologise for making you work with this imbecile Mr. Malfoy, but Potter's incompetence is so great that he needs someone with a brain to guide him."

Malfoy just nodded at this, it looked as if he'd be sick if he opened his mouth. Today we were making a potion that enabled us to change into an animal for a set amount of time. It worked in the same was as the Animagus spell, but this was temporary and only affected the drinker for a few hours, after that the potion wore off and the drinker could no longer change at will. The potion also revealed what animal the drinker would become were the drinker to become an Animagus. I smiled warmly at Malfoy. All he could manage in return was a sort of petrified whimper. He set about making the potion, not meeting my eyes.

Eventually Snape stood at the front of the dungeon and said smoothly

"Now class, let us see what your attempts have produced." At this point he looked at Malfoy "some will be infinitely more successful-"he whipped his gaze around to Neville "than others." Malfoy turned to me and nervously mumbled

"Potter, you should take it first because I didn't let you do much and it's only fair and oh and um when you want to change back, just will yourself as a human again and you really have to wish for it..."

I was slightly amused. I never would have though the great Malfoy would have been reduced to this because he was embarrassed at having kissed the wrong person.

I wondered for a moment whether he might be trying to poison me, but took the vial of iridescent, electric blue liquid anyway. I raised it to my lips and swallowed it. It was amazing. It gave such a cool feeling, like light kisses all the way down the inside of my throat. The feeling spread to all parts of my body, to the very tips of my fingers. I knew I had changed.

I padded over to the floor length mirrors Snape had placed along once side of the dungeon wall. I stared in, and came face to face with my eyes. The same eyes as I'd always had, bright green and almond shaped. The rest of me was not the same. I was a huge, sleek, black cat. I was a panther. This was wonderful.

After a while of staring in disbelief, I willed myself to become human again. I got up and looked around the dungeon. All around me the students were transforming with awed looks on their faces. Over in the corner, butterfly Parvati was fluttering around a delighted Lavender's head. Neville, who had got his potion correct after all, was a duck billed platypus, and was flopping around clumsily under a table. Seamus was a loveable Collie dog, which gamboled around the dungeon madly. Pansy Parkinson was a magpie, perched on a desk cawing harshly. Blaise Zabini had turned into a Siamese cat, sitting regally, purring. They were all laughing madly as they came out of their animal forms.

I turned to Malfoy and smiled. "It's your turn." He nodded, still not looking at me, and gulped down the potion. Immediately he transformed into a graceful swan.

He was silver, like his eyes. His feathers glistened like molten metal. He beat his massive wings once and curled his graceful neck around and began preening his feathers. Swan Malfoy looked me in the eye, and his were the same captivating silver as they'd always been.  
  
**Author's Notes:  
**  
Um, yep, Draco has got together with Parkinson. He doesn't want to, but Harry will in time understand what he put Draco through. As soon as Harry shows any interest, Draco will drop Pansy. Harry will show interest, but not yet! I'm sorry for all those that want me to skip the story and just get to the beautiful slashy bits, but we'll get there eventually, I promise. I feel so cruel... oh you chaps are going to hate me with what I've got planned out...  
  
Oh by the way, the friend I showed this to didn't quite understand what I meant with those potions so I'm putting a little explaination to be sure. They're basically temporary Animagus spells in a bottle. If you take it, for a few hours you are an Animagus, but then the power wears off, unlike with an Animagus who can transform at will for the rest of their lives (I assume) You transform instantly when you drink it, but you can change back again during the set time period.


	9. The Acceptance

Disclaimer: I know you thought I was, and wasting my time writing fanfiction when I should be busy writing book six, but I am not actually JKR and thus do not own any of these characters.  
  
**Chapter 8, The Acceptance**  
  
"Oi, Sirius, are you even in here?" I bellowed, looking around the apparently empty chamber Dumbledore had allocated to Sirius as his own private quarters. The room I was standing in was large and circular, complete with a stained glass window. In the centre of the room stood a huge four poster bed, complete with crimson velvet hangings, much like the beds in my own dormitory.  
"Sirius!" I yelled again, starting to get impatient.  
"Yes! All right! Hold on Harry, I'll be right with you. Just let me get out of the shower!" he called.  
I sat down in one of the comfortable armchairs and waited for Sirius to emerge. Presently he appeared, looking neat and tidy. His raven hair was long and glistening, and he had a devil-may-care grin on his face.  
"Thanks for this yeah Sirius? I had a nasty Charms essay that Dumbledore told Flitwick to let me off doing so I could go into Hogsmeade with you."  
Sirius grinned as he replied.  
"Well, Dumbledore understands that me spending some quality time with my godson is far more important than some Charms homework, Harry mate."  
We made our way into Hogsmeade chattering comfortably. As we entered the village Sirius' face lit up, this was friendly and familiar to him. We arrived outside a building that exuded a welcoming atmosphere. "The Three Broomsticks" read the sign above the door.  
Sirius suddenly stopped in his tracks looking nervous. I sensed what was troubling him.  
"Sirius, everyone knows that you're innocent. They'll be a bit shocked to see you but I'm sure they'll be okay soon enough."  
He smiled grimly at me and we went into the pub.  
We entered the Three Broomsticks, as usual Rosmerta was doing a roaring trade, the pub was packed fit to burst with all sorts. Goblins, Hags and a suspicious looking horned creature sitting in a shadowy corner on his own. Upon our entrance a dull silence descended over the crowded pub. I could feel Sirius' embarrassment radiating off him, the silent seconds seemed to drag like hours. Suddenly a welcoming hand grabbed Sirius and pulled him into a welcoming hug.  
"Good to see you again, Sirius!" Madame Rosmerta beamed.  
Suddenly the unwelcoming atmosphere was broken by cheers, applause and welcome greetings. Witches and wizards from all round the pub were coming up to us and hugging Sirius and shaking his hand. It reminded me of the first day I returned to the wizarding world, and the similarly warm reception I'd received in the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius was beaming, and he laughed delightedly at every welcome greeting he received.  
"One large Firewhiskey please, Rosmerta" Sirius asked eventually, when all the well wishers had dissipated.  
She insisted upon giving it to him on the house. We sat down with our drinks after Rosmerta had insisted upon giving me a free butterbeer too.  
As soon as I set my empty bottle down, Sirius grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the pub, yelling hoarse good-byes to those present. He wanted to go and explore Hogsmeade again. I was envious of him; life must seem so brilliant to him. Everything must have been so much more vivid as he had been brought back from the beyond. I laughed as he ran about excitedly looking in the shop windows. We went into Honeyduke's and came out laden with all sorts of sweets. He took me up to the Shrieking Shack, and we remembered how we first found each other. He took me to the cave on the hillside, and we remembered the way I'd smuggled food to him. We finally went back to Honeyduke's and purchased more sweets for the walk home. We walked back, still chatting and grinning.  
Sirius was still weaker than he should be; there was so much recovering for him to do. He went up to his quarters for a rest while I headed down to the Great Hall for my dinner.  
I took my seat next to my Gryffindor classmates when I had walked into the hall. I smiled properly at Parvati for the first time since we'd split up. The whole situation seemed silly and trivial now, and I forgave her without even thinking about it. She was taken aback by the genuine warmth in my smile, but quickly recovered and smiled back. She was still very beautiful and her smile still held magic. I knew we could be friends, because what had happened just didn't matter to either of us any more.  
I turned to Seamus and Dean, who were having the usual heated discussions about football. Dean, with the aid of various culinary implements was trying to demonstrate the offside rule. Seamus just looked blank and then angry and then muttered that it was a stupid game. Dean disagreed. This went on for quite some time. I turned to Neville, he grinned and stared reproachfully at both of them.  
After dinner we all headed up to the common room, my fellow Gryffindors all delved back into their assigned four foot on Disguising Charms. I laughed delightedly at them, making a mental note to thank Sirius again for getting me out of that one.  
Gradually, they began to finish, throwing down their quills with noises of relief. I spent another happy evening with my friends, playing chess, eating ridiculous amounts of sweets and enjoying the general banter. I remembered Ron and Hermione, and I realised that for the first time since they'd gone I didn't actually miss them. Now I was content without them, I had Sirius back and five new close friends that had replaced them, in my mind anyway.  
I fell asleep happily. My dreams all involved flying, but without a broom. I flew above all the places I wanted to visit. I saw Stonehenge, and the surrounding countryside. The air fizzed, and it seemed as if it held more magic than even Hogwarts. I was in New York. I sat on top of the Empire State Building and stared at the lives around me, wishing that they could all be as happy as I was. I flew to the top of some beautiful mountains, and I just sat, alone with my thoughts. I flew around many other places; the feeling of the air supporting me was brilliant. Eventually I came back to Hogwarts, and flew back into the window of the tower. I glanced fondly at the peaceful look on my friend's faces, before eventually settling back down into bed and sleeping.

* * *

The next morning I headed down towards the edge of the Forest, where a small crowd was already gathered around Professor Grubbly-Plank. I attempted to blend into the background, placing myself next to Neville who was stood on his toes trying to see the creatures. Professor Grubbly-Plank was speaking and gesturing so often to a row of small hairy creatures that often emitted a muffled squeaking sound, like a hiccup, and produced a stream of turquoise bubbles from their large, protruding ears.  
"This class, is a Grimblehook," Professor Grubbly-Plank told us. "It is commonly found in..."  
But where this unusual creature was often found, I did not hear.  
"Pssst, Potter, I didn't see you in school yesterday."  
Malfoy had sidled up to me, and appeared to be trying to make conversation. I was pleased about this, it seemed he might have gotten over his silly embarrassment in Potions.  
"Nah, went to Hosmeade" I whispered back.  
He looked confused, it hadn't been a Hogsmeade weekend, and students didn't commonly go on Sundays anyway.  
"Sirius took me, Dumbledore let us." I offered by way of explanation.  
He nodded, understanding. Professor Grubbly-Plank then told us to get into pairs. Malfoy looked at me questioningly and I shrugged to indicate my assent. I went to collect our Grimblehook from the pen, and led it over to where Malfoy was now sitting; I led the creature on a lead that was attached to a pink collar around its neck.  
"Now class, I want you to clean out the creature's ears", the teacher yelled. "You may think they'd be clean enough, with the constant stream of bubbles coming out of them, but the soapy bubbles leave a sort of residue that needs to be cleaned off every three weeks, or the Grimblehook will actually explode. In the wild the Grimblehook's mate or parent would do this, but as ours have been bred in captivity we have always done this for them and they simply do not know how."  
Malfoy looked disgusted. I sighed and said  
"You can hold it still then you big girl."  
He looked at me witheringly.  
"Potter, just because I don't enjoy being up to my elbows in some filthy creature's earwax does not make me any less of a man than you."  
"You think what you like, mate." I replied.  
We had a fun lesson. Malfoy directed one of the streams of bubbles directly in my ear. It tickled and I fell to the floor giggling while Malfoy laughed evilly.  
  
**Author's Notes**

Yay! They're friends again. Hmmm, still no slash for a bit yet, I'm afraid. Harry's in denial and Draco is certainly not going to try and instigate anything after the last disastrous attempt.


	10. Losing and Gaining

Disclaimer: No. No I just don't own this. Why did you think I owned this? Silly.  
  
**Chapter 10, Losing and gaining.**  
  
The Potions laboratory was absolutely freezing as always.  
  
"Ahhh, Potions the joy of my life." I thought sarcastically to myself, waiting for Snape to eventually make his entrance and begin the torturous 1- hour and 3/4 lesson.  
  
I was sitting by Neville who was actually shivering quite visibly, whether with nerves about Snape's imminent entrance into the room or because of the penetrating cold, I didn't know. I amused myself while waiting for Snape to make his entrance by trying to identify what was actually in the jars of slime, and shapeless objects that every so often squirmed. I thought I recognised what suspiciously looked like a scaly eyeball...however Snape gliding in quickly evaporated my pondering thoughts. I could have sworn I felt the room drop in temperature as he came in.  
  
Snape turned to face us; he stood and surveyed our obviously dread filled expressions. As if he found our silent presence amusing he smirked, obviously sharing a private joke with himself.  
  
"Today, class, we are going to be making potions that will rid you of your memory. Now, we don't want a horde of students who know nothing running around, so we shall be making the formula very weak." Looking at Neville he seemed to convey his thoughts that there was already a horde of students that knew nothing running rampage around the school, but chose to leave just a suggestion of this remark hanging stagnant in the air between us for a few moments.  
  
He produced his wand from a long sleeve, flicking it in the air words written in smoky writing appeared, "The ingredients you will need are all in the cupboard. You have precisely 30 minutes. The method will be in your text books...look it up." He smirked and his eyes glittered maliciously. I glanced at Neville who was now very pale.  
  
"Look like you're busy and I'll get the ingredients, okay?" I assumed he needed time to gather himself and recuperate. Neville squeaked a barely inaudible reply, which I assumed meant okay.  
  
The lesson passed slowly. Neville and I struggled with this difficult potion, but we miraculously finished and cleaned our working area in fifteen minutes. I thought there was something wrong with the fact we had finished so quickly, but I considered the possibility Snape was allowing for the student's incapabilities. This seemed slightly out of character for Snape, but I brushed it off and spent the rest of the allotted time doing impressions of the different teachers to try and cheer Neville up. Seamus, Dean, Parvati and Lavender kept bursting into laughter at them. Snape was furious and looked up, trying to find the source of this entire disturbance. Catching sight of me, Snape did not appear impressed.  
  
"Potter, Longbottom, I want you up here now. And bring your potion." Snape's eyes a lit with amusement. I could barely control my laughter, Dean's face as I imitated Sprout was just too much.  
  
"Now Potter, you will be the first to try the potion considering you seemed to be the one to cause all off this irrational laughter, and disturbance. Let us hope you got it right this time, otherwise the consequences could be somewhat dire!" The Slytherins laughed. Snape grinned baring his teeth.  
  
He beckoned Neville towards the cauldron, which was filled with a soft yellow potion. It was a lot thicker than the recipe had stated, but I was rather proud of it, considering my usual clumsiness where Potions was concerned. Neville, who now, on top of the shivering, was perspiring, filled a crystalline vial with the Potion. Trembling he handed it to me and Snape motioned for me to drink.  
  
A feeling like no other ripped through me as I swallowed it. I shuddered. Everyone's eyes were upon me. I could see Lavender, Parvati, and Seamus' worried gazes; I could feel the smug gazes of the Slytherins. Crabbe, Goyle, Parkinson and Malfoy were all sitting together, and I didn't even register that Malfoy's hand was draped lazily around Parkinson's shoulder, or his terrified expression. Everything seemed to be spinning around me. I heard the tinkle of breaking glass as the vial slipped from my hand. I felt as if my mind was being shredded when everything suddenly went pitch black.  
  
Blinking several times, I let my eyes slowly adjust to the light that was flooding into the large, stone room. I let my eyes follow the specks of dust drifting slowly to the floor and then turned on my back and stared at the ceiling.  
  
I sat up slowly and looked around, as if by instinct I reached to the side and picked up my glasses. Placing them carefully on the bridge of my nose, I looked around once more. Everything was much clearer with the aid of the glasses I'd just put on. I blinked more and sat up taking note of the room I was in. I didn't recognise any of it at all, the room was large and stone, and there were cubicles marked out with linen curtain screens all around the room. I was in a large comfortable bed with white sheets. A homely yet severe woman came bustling in and catching sight of me awake made her way over to my bedside.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Potter, it's good to see you're finally awake. My name is Madame Pomfrey and I've been looking after you for the last two days." The woman said to me, smiling as one would when explaining something to someone that didn't understand a word of what one was saying, in short, very patronisingly.  
  
"The headmaster will be wanting to know you're awake," she muttered, half to herself and half to me. Then seemingly remembering my presence she looked up.  
  
"As will some other people that are just waiting outside" she beamed at me.  
  
"But wait," I called after her feebly "where... who am I?"  
  
She didn't hear me, and moved straight to the door. Opening it, she motioned for whoever was outside to come in, whispered something to the head that appeared and turned around, beamed to me again and headed out of another door into an ante room that looked like an office of some sort.  
  
I looked curiously at the two people approaching my bed.  
  
"I suppose you know who I am." I told them. It wasn't a question, I assumed they wouldn't be here otherwise.  
  
"Yeah, Harry, yeah we do" answered a very serious looking ginger boy.  
  
**A/N:**  
  
I'm sorry that I haven't written in ages! I've been ill, and then off to the continent, and then awfully busy. And I'm worried that this chapter is so short! And I'm sorry I'm using potions too much, they just fascinate me and always open so many opportunities for funny things. Harry has lost his memory! And his visitors are, incase you didn't get it, Ron and Hermione. They have returned! I don't know whether to make his memory loss permanent and to get him to attempt to get to know R&H and just hating them and liking Draco or whether he should remember and hate them for what they did to him (i.e. leave him all on his own with nobody to care for him etc) and be friends with Draco? He'll be friends with Draco for sure, don't worry. Sorry again. 


	11. Remembering

**Disclaimer:** He's a lumberjack and he's okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day! Oh, and I'm afraid JK Rowling owns the HP Universe.

**Remembering.**

I learnt that the two people I had spoken to were called Ron and Hermione, and that they were my best friends. I didn't dispute this, as I really had no notion of who I was or what the things that happened around me meant. People came in and out of the room I was in, that I had learnt was called the hospital wing, all of the time. Many of them came to visit me, I was quite sure I couldn't have known that many people in my old life. According to Ron and Hermione I was rather well known throughout the land, and my streams of visitors weren't close friends, but just well wishers that wanted to check if I was getting better.

There were some that came to see me more often than the others: Ron and Hermione, obviously; a man that introduced himself as my godfather, Sirius; and someone whose visits were very furtive and remarkable mainly for their brevity, who only ever came when the others were not present, who called himself Draco and begged me not to mention him to the other people.

I spoke to people at great length, eager to learn from them who I was and why I was so well known. I was rather impressed with what I learnt, and could see why hordes of people were coming to me, but utterly daunted. I seemed to be this perfect creature of the light, who could handle any troubles without so much as fluttering an eyelid. I didn't know how I could face all that was expected of me. Everyone I spoke to was convinced I'd re-assume my mantle of goodness without any troubles, and I'd go back to fighting the person I learnt was my adversary, Lord Voldemort, and of course I would defeat him. The world, thanks to me, would be a better place, and I would be universally praised and thanked. Everyone mentioned Voldemort in connection to me, I was constantly faced with suggestions that I was to defeat him as soon as I possibly could, and nobody seemed to even consider that I might feel otherwise.

I felt suffocated by their joyful adulation of me. I couldn't move without someone checking if I was healthy, I had been able to get up and walk around days ago, but stayed in the hospital wing as I didn't feel quite comfortable anywhere else. I stayed, in the midst of an uneasy, heavy happiness, as I didn't know what else I could do.

Amongst the still steady stream of visits, there was one regular comer that I began to look forward to seeing. The quiet, secretive boy with the blond shock of hair that kept creeping back to my bedside just to talk. His visits were always quiet and could happen at any time. The thing I enjoyed most about them was that we never talked about how I was the famous Harry Potter, and how I was to be the one to defeat Voldemort, but we talked about normal things, building up conversation based on nothing, as two people that have never met before and are building a friendship often do. In fact, if the conversation ever did drift towards a similar subject, he or I would gently guide it away.

I got to know Ron and Hermione better during this period, and if I am perfectly frank I must admit I found their characters unsavoury. They didn't think of anyone but themselves, and were very angry when disturbed by one of the endless stream of visitors that still came to see me. I had accepted the visitors and always tried to be warm to them, as their visit was an act of kindness and I was simply repaying it. Ron, and certainly Hermione, shooed them away angrily and rudely. This served no purpose as they paid no real attention to me, and once the disturbance had gone just went back to lots of cuddling and kissing and basically ignoring me. I was rather bored by their frequent visits, and found myself wishing they would end, and that Draco would be there more often if they did was just further incentive.

On one of the few times I was alone was night, and often I lay thinking about recent events, and wondering about how I had coped with all my responsibility before my memory loss. I was doing this when I presently heard voices at the other end of the wing. They were lowered, but the wing was deathly quiet and the sound carried to me easily.

I heard the man that had been introduced to me as Professor Dumbledore speaking quietly. He was muttering

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy, this draught will give him his previous memory back, but I am loath to use it as at any time the dose may wear out, and he will be liable to more memory loss."

Draco cursed and angrily slammed his hand against the wall.

"You mean there's nothing you can do to cure him, nothing at all?"

"Severus is working tirelessly to restore him to his previous state, but so far this is all he has come up with. Needless to say he will eventually be cured, and as this is not that difficult a problem, I'd imagine quite soon"

I heard Draco sigh, and then I heard them begin to walk towards my bed. I quickly closed my eyes and slowed my breathing in order to feign sleep.

Draco lay his hand on my shoulder and gently began to shake me, whispering my name. I opened my eyes very slowly and gradually, and looked blearily at Dumbledore and Draco.

"Harry, we have a Potion for you to restore your memory"

I managed to look surprised.

"Really? Can, can I take it now? It would be nice to finally remember..." and added a convincing sigh.

Dumbledore smiled kindly at me,

"Yes you may Harry. I shall go and fetch Madame Pomfrey to administer the Potion"

Dumbledore walked out and I turned to Draco.

"Will I forget everything I've learnt since I lost my memory? Because, I don't want to forget you, I've really enjoyed talking to you and just being friends with you..."

Draco looked taken aback at this statement. Then he smiled, his smile was the sort of thing that I could tell was very rare. I'd only ever seen a smirk on his face before, but this lit his face up completely.

"No, you'll be able to remember." He softly told me.

Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey bustled over to my bedside and handed me a cup full of an iridescent purple liquid. I gulped it down, and it tasted of sugared violets.

All of a sudden the room began to whirl and I fell backwards onto my pillow unable to remain awake for a moment longer.

**A/N: **Sorry it's so short :(


End file.
